OH NO

So Sunday night Dad fell. He went to the doctor Monday (wouldn't go Sunday) and he broke his knee cap. So now he's in a wheel chair. The doc said it would be 8-10 weeks and he should be fine. As fine as a man in his situation can be. He has chemo tomorrow. He is however, planning a trip in his motor home in early summer. He's a man with a plan.

BRUCE WILLIS

Dad's hair has been falling out since he started his new chemo. Last week his friend Sam got out the clippers and shaved Dad's head. It was quite startling to come home and see his bald head. He says he thinks he looks like Bruce Willis only better. Way to have a good attitude about it, Dad. He has a nice round head without a lot of dips and bumps so it's really not so bad.

Today is my birthday. I went over to Dad's and there was brownies and cake. It was a surprise. Kelly is over and staying with Dad tonight so I was settling in at my house and wasn't expecting anything. Debbie and the kids were there, Rob, Steve, Kelly, and Dad.

My life is very odd right now. I've been staying at Dad's and coming home once or twice a week to pick up mail and check the house. Then one of his nine kids calls and someone else comes and stays with him to "give me a break." It is unsettling. I don't need "a break." I'm trying to get used to going back and forth. I know the other kids need to be with him and I don't want to interfere with that. But hauling my stuff back and forth between his house and mine is cumbersome at best, totally disconcerting at worst. Now what is it I need and where am I sleeping tonight?

Dad is getting stronger and may not need the attention, but I hesitate leaving him home at night because if he falls I hate the thought of him being down all night.

I cleaned out my basement today. Steve and Rob brought a truck of mom's stuff up today. She'll get a uhaul and get the rest of her stuff up here in the next few weeks. She's pooped. She'll probably have time here without me to decorate the house, get her stuff put away, and get settled in.

Some days I do really good with the uncertainty. I know the Lord is in charge and his tender mercies bless my life daily. Some days I just want to crawl in bed, curl up in a ball and stay there for awhile. No time for that, however.

A year has dripped away with barely a notice. Happy Birthday to me.

swine flu and other challenges

Since I work in a doctor's office, our staff has been scheduled for swine flu shots. But I declined. I'm hoping that since everyone else is getting the shots, I will be okay. I just don't feel right about being part of a test group of millions for a flu shot that rolled out this year and is really untested.

On another note, Dad is doing pretty good. His liver numbers are better, his cancer markers are still going up, and his liver tumors are stable. Mixed messages, but we'll take what we can get. I'm staying at his house a lot these days since he got home from the hospital. He almost took a tumble yesterday when his legs just gave out, and today he lost his balance again. We're trying to keep someone with him so if he does fall, he won't lay on the floor for hours. I can't bear that idea.

And yet another note, Mom is moving in with me this month. She is here now for a few days, and heading home tomorrow to pack some more. She'll be here by December 1 if not before. I'm excited for her to get here and get settled. Is this ironic? She'll be at home and I'll be at Dad's house.... Oh well. Except for family pictures, I have hung one picture since I've been here. I've told her it's up to her to decorate the place. I'm a total minimalist. But her house is lovely. Lots of foo-foo. I've never been a foo-foo kind of girl. I like foo-foo. It's just beyond my ability to create it.

So some friend's donated a couple downed trees for my winter wood, and a couple others and a teen age son cut the trees, hauled them to my house, and now I have a pile of wood waiting to be split and stacked. Unfortunately, I was splitting wood Wednesday and I broke the ax handle. SOS. Now what do I do? In any case, when all is done, I'll have a great winter wood supply. I'm so happy. I love a fire warmed home.

I made some bread this week. It's been much too hot to bake bread this summer. Colder weather just begs me to make soup and bread. The perfect comfort foods.

I'm off to Allicia's tomorrow for the week end. She called me a month or so ago and asked if I could come help with the short guys while she sings in the winter concert, and also while her primary does their program on Sunday. It will be a quick trip. I got my studded tires on yesterday so if (when) I hit snow on the pass, I'll be okay. And of course, I have those horrible, wretched "easy on" tire chains which take a battalion of Mensa members and mechanics to put on. I may just sit and wait out the storm if they, those nefarious people who like to see old ladies out in the snow and slush and wind attempt to put those stupid chains on and then 10 miles down the road, have to take them off.

I'm heading back to Dad's. G'night all.