FINALLY

I was offered a job at Wenatchee Valley College today as an "Interactive Television Operator." They do a bunch of classes that are sent to other campuses in Washington and they need someone to man (or woman?) the cameras, mics, and electronic board. I have experience on a board for radio. Don't know a thing about this TV deal, but I'm confident that I can learn quickly. It's a part-time gig and that's ok. It'll give me time to do some massage as well. And there is a chance it may go full time (read benefits) which would make me very happy. I'm excited. I start tomorrow at 9:00. And I can wear jeans, a t shirt, and sandals. Does it get any better than this?

I am doing the happy dance tonight. Then I'm going to bed. Didn't sleep well last night. Too nervous. I'll be dancing in my dreams.

We'll see

It's been an unsettling week end, my dad is sick, my mom is sick...visitors...what to do, what to say? I just don't know.

I have two interviews tomorrow, both for part time jobs. We'll see.

I've been canning. I thought I was almost done with peaches from my dad and a neighbor has some peaches I can pick. So I will come home from interviews tomorrow and pick and can some more peaches. Got the bottles. Might as well do something with the unexpected blessing of more fruit.

I need to get to bed. I'm nervous about tomorrow. Like I said, we'll see.

I am a ship builder

I am a ship builder. I have no background in ship building. No particular skills or talents that would make others who know me say, "Of course, I'm sure she'll build a wonderful ship." I am building a ship because I was commanded to. My tendencies to be impatient, a day dreamer, slow to work and then rushing to finish—these traits and many more have caused me to build rafts rather than ships. They float don’t they? And they’re a lot quicker to build. Get on the water faster, right? Well, so I thought. But my little rafts were not what the Lord told me to build. He said, ‘Build a ship.” My first raft sank. My next raft sank. My third raft sank. (Does the term ‘slow learner' come to mind?) Finally I thought, “Perhaps I should build a ship.” I acknowledge that it is only through the tender mercies of the Lord that I survived the foolishness of my own bad habits, pride, and stubbornness.

So at this late date in my life, I am finally a ship builder. I am aware that I don’t know how to build a ship that will safely carry me to the Promised Land. I only know how to build rafts that may look fine but don’t float for very long, especially in rough seas.

I am gathering materials, ore to make tools and lumber to split and somehow fashion into a ship. I don’t know how to do this, so I must rely entirely upon the Lord. What I’ve done in the past hasn’t worked. I have to let go of my pride and do it His way. I don't know what this ship will look like when I get done—but God does. When I finish one step of the process, I go to Him and ask Him to help me with the next step. Occasionally, I want to counsel the Lord – “Well, when I built my rafts I did it this way—what do you think?” If I am silent long enough and really listen, He guides me through the next step and the next and the next. And it is never how I built my rafts.

I am sunburned. I have blisters and scars and sore muscles from the work. But I know if I can keep asking, listening, and doing what the Lord tells me that one day I will have a magnificent ship.

He promised me. He never breaks a promise.

(I wrote this essay some time ago stuck it in my journal in between a couple other pages. It’s a lesson I keep relearning.)