The end of tomatoes and ...

Yesterday afternoon after a bout of emotional paralysis, I went outside and pulled up dead tomato vines. Frost killed them. I picked a few tomatoes I missed last week and ate my last tomato of the season fresh off the vine. I picked the pathetic beets, and the miniature rainbow carrots, as well (orange, yellow, red, and white, pretty cool really except they weren't designed to feed regular people, that's for sure). It is somehow very sad to have my garden growing season over, clean up the little patches of ground for next year, and pick the last tomato.

I've started making Christmas presents, but it already doesn't look good. I'm doing counted cross stitch ornaments (don't read this kids). It is taking me FOREVER to finish one ornament, stitches in, rip them out, my count is off so my picture is a bit skewed, and a few stitches that I missed ripping out (I don't know how I could have done that) are leaning slightly to the left. How hard is it to sew a stupid x for crying out loud? Apparently more difficult than I originally thought. I'm going to have to take the thing into town because I missed the class on French knots and of course, this picture has French knots in it. A bunch. I'm hoping I can find someone in town who can show me how to sew French knots. I'll be the old lady on the street corner with the little cross stitch picture saying to strangers passing by, hey can you show me French knots? I'm not complaining. It's just that you can't eat cross stitch pictures, you can't get out and dig up weeds around the pictures, and the pattern isn't nearly as pretty as the picture of tomatoes on the front of a seed package. But since growing season is over and holiday season is fast approaching, I'm stitching. This started out as a labor of love. It has become a test of wills. Who is going to win, me or the needle that goes where it shouldn't and the thread that knots up on the back of the picture? I'll keep you posted on my progress.

Morning in Paradise

Today I will go to work smelling like eau de tomato. I went out and picked tomatoes this morning. It’s official. I’ve been waiting for this moment. I picked more tomatoes than I could eat while standing in the garden. I’m so excited. Mostly cherry and grape tomatoes, but I’ve gotten 2 larger red, ripe tomatoes. Oh man, I’ll be canning tomatoes in a week or two. This paradise thing is WONDERFUL. What a great way to start the day.

Grandma bologna and other thoughts

My two kidlets and I slept out on the front lawn Tuesday night to watch the meteor shower. Unfortunately, we fell asleep and when the alarm rang at 2 a.m. (the best part of the show), no one wanted to wake up. But we did sleep outside and that was lovely. I was grandma bologna with a kid snudged up against me on both sides. In fact, I spent a couple nights as grandma bologna due to the fact that the short guys were getting homesick and lonely for their mommies and sleeping with grandma seemed to make it better. My buddies left on Wednesday and my house is so quiet and everything seems to stay where I put it now and there are no incredibly interesting conversations to listen to so here I am in paradise by myself. Peace is nice. Quiet is nice. I miss the laughter the most. Somehow kids come with an innate sense for joy that sucks you into their vortex and fills you up with smiles. I miss my kids and grandkids. Excuse me while I have a little pity party……..

……Ok, I’m better now.

NEXT

It’s hot today and supposed to be upwards of 108° F tomorrow. Do you know what that means? RIPE TOMATOES!!! I had a dozen cherry and grape tomatoes yesterday. Ate most of them as I picked them. Warm and sweet and bursting with the bite. I’m thinking I will sleep during the day (the only air conditioner lives in my bedroom—thank heavens) and putz during the night when it’s cooler. We’ll see how that goes. I don’t work next week, but have work the week after. Perhaps something will come up next week. I hope so. Temp work has been fun. The people I’ve worked with have been exceptional, the work interesting, and time passes quickly. But I want MY OWN JOB. Oh well, I’ll keep working on that one. I’m doing an infant massage class on Saturday at the Y. Put out introductory letters with referral pads to a couple docs last week. Something will come together. Either massage or something else. I don’t know.

AND FINALLY

I’ve been reading my scriptures and came across a passage that is helping me today. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and discouraged because I can’t seem to generate massage appointments (I know, I’m spoiled. My original practice was huge and starting over sucks). And I apply for jobs but nothing so far. So not only am I broke in the finest sense (only financially, a temporary situation but still discouraging) but I am struggling to define the direction I want my life to go in. In other words, at a time when some of my friends are talking about retiring, I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to be when I grow up and what I want to do with the rest of my life. Curious turn of events, don’t you think?

In Proverbs 3:5-6, I found comfort.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path.”

8-15-08