Happy Father's Day

Yesterday was a glorious day. Brothers and sisters came from all around bringing kids and grandkids for an afternoon of family and food.

Dad is doing pretty good. His last scan showed the tumors growing and his doc is putting him back on IV chem starting this week. This is an unexpectedly bad turn from my perspective. I thought he was healing, going into remission, and that his cancer would continue to go away until it was all gone. Some of it is all gone. And his liver function is good. Am I foolish to believe that healing can happen?

Dad is so positive about how well he's doing. But then, he doesn't talk about pain or side effects of the oral chemo he's taking or the cancer or his outcome except he's making long term plans to travel this winter, go hunting in Montana, do a little fishing as the mood grabs him, and talking about the amazing harvest that is just weeks away.

I'm blessed to be here in Paradise just down the road from my Dad. I'm enjoying this opportunity to reconnect, build and rebuild, and simply hug him every day.

Grandma bologna and other thoughts

My two kidlets and I slept out on the front lawn Tuesday night to watch the meteor shower. Unfortunately, we fell asleep and when the alarm rang at 2 a.m. (the best part of the show), no one wanted to wake up. But we did sleep outside and that was lovely. I was grandma bologna with a kid snudged up against me on both sides. In fact, I spent a couple nights as grandma bologna due to the fact that the short guys were getting homesick and lonely for their mommies and sleeping with grandma seemed to make it better. My buddies left on Wednesday and my house is so quiet and everything seems to stay where I put it now and there are no incredibly interesting conversations to listen to so here I am in paradise by myself. Peace is nice. Quiet is nice. I miss the laughter the most. Somehow kids come with an innate sense for joy that sucks you into their vortex and fills you up with smiles. I miss my kids and grandkids. Excuse me while I have a little pity party……..

……Ok, I’m better now.

NEXT

It’s hot today and supposed to be upwards of 108° F tomorrow. Do you know what that means? RIPE TOMATOES!!! I had a dozen cherry and grape tomatoes yesterday. Ate most of them as I picked them. Warm and sweet and bursting with the bite. I’m thinking I will sleep during the day (the only air conditioner lives in my bedroom—thank heavens) and putz during the night when it’s cooler. We’ll see how that goes. I don’t work next week, but have work the week after. Perhaps something will come up next week. I hope so. Temp work has been fun. The people I’ve worked with have been exceptional, the work interesting, and time passes quickly. But I want MY OWN JOB. Oh well, I’ll keep working on that one. I’m doing an infant massage class on Saturday at the Y. Put out introductory letters with referral pads to a couple docs last week. Something will come together. Either massage or something else. I don’t know.

AND FINALLY

I’ve been reading my scriptures and came across a passage that is helping me today. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and discouraged because I can’t seem to generate massage appointments (I know, I’m spoiled. My original practice was huge and starting over sucks). And I apply for jobs but nothing so far. So not only am I broke in the finest sense (only financially, a temporary situation but still discouraging) but I am struggling to define the direction I want my life to go in. In other words, at a time when some of my friends are talking about retiring, I’m trying to figure out what I’m going to be when I grow up and what I want to do with the rest of my life. Curious turn of events, don’t you think?

In Proverbs 3:5-6, I found comfort.

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path.”

8-15-08

IT'S FLAT AND IT'S FLAT, TOO

Last night I took the grandkids to the drive in movies--it was fun and Sweetie, who said Skippy would fall asleep did and he didn't. But alas, on the way out of the drive-in, thump, thump, thump--flat tire. I was going to try and make it to a gas station to pump it up, but no such luck. It's 1 a.m. and I'm out there parked in the Humane Society parking lot (the light was good) trying to get to the spare, figure out equipment I've never used, couldn't find part of the jack and two sleeping darlings in the back seat. So I did what any respectable grandma would do in this case, I called my brother to come help. But then I found the jack parts, called him back, changed the dang tire, and viola, the spare was flat. So I called my brother again, he came and got us, we got the kids in his car and went home. 3 a.m. or so. He's going to take us down to get the car to Les Schwab.

We laughed and talked and ATE during the show (we packed enough food for a week end--and these kids aren't even teen agers yet), watched a little lightening storm pass by, and really enjoyed the shows (Indiana Jones and Ironman). The tire thing was just a blip in our good time. Besides, I don't think the kids even noticed we came home in another car. We transferred them sleep walking from car to car and from the car into the house. No stress at all for them.

This morning we had a great breakfast--the two of them made pear muffins, they are such good kids, and we'll head out in a few minutes to do the car repair thing.

So in spite of a flat tire flat tire, life is still good here in paradise.

WELCOME TO ME

Ok so I haven't put colored borders or sparkly fireworks or fancy fonts here (who can tell me how to do that stuff?) but I thought I'd try this blogging thing. I enjoy reading your blogs. I'm not sure anyone will enjoy reading mine, and I'm not sure I'm real concerned about it right now.

I live in paradise, those who visit even say so. A cherry orchard in the back yard. The canyon in front complete with a river, some lakes, mountains. Who could ask for more. Oh yes, and there's my little garden. You know when you plant tomato plants they are ...what ... 6 inches tall. So I planted 10 of them. Some of them are now taller than me. We've had such a cold winter and spring that they are just starting to turn red. I ate my first day before yesterday. My second yesterday. I'm going out and pick another this evening. I love eating them while they are warm and their little tomato hearts are still beating. Several are turning ripe. In another couple weeks I should be up to my eyeballs in tomatoes. I can hardly wait. I have peppers, a bunch, with two ready to pick. My pumpkins look like they are making happy little pumpkin babies, the squash too. Beets and carrots are coming along. I can't remember why I planted chives. What on earth do you do with chives? Oh, I remember, I went in at the end of the potted plant season and they were massively on sale. So I said to myself-self, why not try em. Anyone know what one does with garlic chives? I'm so happy when I go out and water my little garden. I planted some flowers. Some are blossoming, some are just green piles of leaves or something, but they look pretty. Note to self: study which plants make flowers and which are ground huggers before next year. (Again, the lot of them were on sale...nuff said).

My children and grandchildren have come to visit over the last week or two. That was WONDERFUL!! I sent five home Monday and picked two more up today. Before that, four spent the week with me. I just love rocking a little one to sleep, singing to her and having her sing back. Makes me smile just to think about it. And each one of them, they are getting so big and so smart and they are all so beautiful. What a lucky grandma I am, that's for sure. I look at my children living their lives and wrestling with reality and sometimes I ache for them. At this moment about all I can do to help them is pray for them. But they too are all very smart, beautiful, compassionate people. See how lucky I am. It is a challenging time for all of us right now. And the rest of my family. What a blessing they all are to me. And my friends. How they put up with my silliness. We have two family members who are in the military. How I appreciate their sacrifice, the sacrifice of one's wife and children to have husband and daddy gone, oh my, but it is hard to see it. God Bless America and all our troops where ever they are.

So that's what's up with me. Tomorrow I'm taking my two eight-year-olds to town. We'll play in the park, do some grocery shopping, come home and make goodies and popcorn to take to the drive in movies tomorrow night. We'll glean cherries in the morning. Many are in the process of becoming raisins around their pits, but we may find a good one or two. And at some point, we need to make a batch of bread. Probably tonight when it cools off. That way we can have sandwiches tomorrow.

That's it from paradise for now.